I.. Is.. Tofu..Tofu.. Is..Me

We are supposed to hand in our proposed sem3 elective forms by Thursday!!! And I haven’t figured what I wanted to do yet!!! I need a bigger brain!!!

I’m usually very excited when it comes to planning for electives. I still remember planning for the elective I did after sem1. Boy was I hyped up. I couldn’t believe I was going to actually create real bouquets and ornaments and table arrangements with my own hands! With real fresh flowers! In a real flower shop! It may sound bimbo-ish and I might look back years from now and scratch my head wondering why I splurged half my allowance on a course that would in no way benefit my career/contribute to the greater good of mankind/promote world peace… but heck! I loved it!

I especially liked picking and choosing the flowers for each new piece. Type of flower, shape, size, COLOUR, matching them and un-matching them! And the last few twicking and fussing over little details, making sure the faces of the daisies are smiling at you, and the ferns are flowing smoothly all to make it the perfect secret garden… *sigh* I’m really glad I got the chance to do that. I still have one single picture which I couldn’t squeeze into my report, pasted on my wall of my room. It is not so much my arrangement that makes it look beautiful, but more comes from the natural beauty with which God Himself used to create each flower that amazes me. The flowers are the beautiful thing, and flower arrangement is simply a way of presenting them. And it is just a joy being around these things that remind me of His creation.

I love my future-would-be profession as a doctor (assuming I pass the exams in one piece that is =P). But its nice to have a spare place you can go to daydream, a little something you can divert your attention to when you feel too *sien* with where ever you are stuck in. Not that I’m *sien* with med school, I love it! Just sometimes tired mah, physio is killer ler =p. And so, I think my spare daydream would be to open a little flower shop when I’m retired! Hehe…

I don’t think it’s wrong to have these little daydreams. The doctor I used to work for in a subang clinic told me she always wanted to open a bakery. With lots and lots sweet cakes, muffins, shortcakes, brownies, cupcakes. Basically everything with sugar and icing la, even though she is a diagnosed diabetic … tsk tsk =p

Anyways… that was my 1st elective. Now back to the main problem here. SEM3 ELECTIVE.

Here are the brainstorms so far:

Outward bound school in SABAH! – gosh, I was super excited when I found out from Ian Zing that they had a programme right in the middle of our holidays. I’ve always TALKED about going since high school, but timing and circustances never allowed. And now finally, there is a good excuse (Uni project ma, I can tell my dad ‘MUST’ do wan) and the timing is perfect! BUT… my dad knows me too well ler. He say I too tofu. Hence the title of this post. Of course he didn’t use those exact words, but take home message was about there la. So nope, no hanging from tree tops and brushing teeth with salt water for me this year.

Oil/ pastel/ acrylic painting??? – When I was back in Johore this CNY, I saw some paintings my aunty had been working in this past year and I literally FELL IN LOVE with them. Bee-u-ti-fol. I always wondered how people could use a blank canvas to transport the mind to a whole new place, a new world *wow*. I would love to learn, but am wondering if there is a pre-requisite, like I got to know some basics before they even consider my application or not. Well it is a hopeful thought! =)

Hospital attachment – Yes, yes, yes, I know I will be spending the rest of my life in a hospital so why get so excited now right? I thought so too, and after my 1st hospital attachment in TDMC (read boring), I wasn’t so keen on doing any attachments with the hospitals here. But then I heard from Li Shan that since her mom was a nurse at Mt Elizabeth Hosp, we could get attached with SPECIALISTS and stay the night for A&E with her mom. It caught my attention cause specialists usually don’t usually bother giving you the time of day what more with mere med students, mere BLUR ones like me. And also cause I haven’t exactly figured out if /what I want to specialize in yet so it might be an eye-opener. **PLUS** Bonus marks for getting to lodge at the famous Low’s crib for 2 weeks, good food, free slave (aka LiShan), personal guide around S’pore (also LiShan).

Learn mandarin- now THIS would be the right, responsible, rational, beneficial, matured, far-sighted, realize-I’m-no-longer-a baby- and-need-to-learn-my-own mother-tongue thing to do. But still… when it come to potentially embarrassing yourself in front of a class full or pre-puberty kids, Procrastination is my good friend =p

Learn some computer skills other than MSN/Words/Excel/Frienter/Blogspot- *Refer to explanation for learning mandarin*

Pottery classes??? – saw one class before. Man sounds interesting eh?

Geez… I gotta stop myself here. So far everything I listed save for the hosp attachment in s’pore is so non-medical student like. Think Denise…think… what would a med student like myself do for fun and still manage to get the approval from my tutor? Hmm…

This is probably one of the longest posts I’ve ever written. And one of the very few in diary form. Haha… but it was good to sort things out a little. Ok gotta remind myself I kinda need to make sure I pass GI and EOS3 before I plan too far with my electives =p

The Ultimate SS thing to do.

What is the ultimate Syiok-Sendiri thing to do?

Post up a picture of yourself and hope you look like some hot female celebrity...

http://www.myheritage.com

What is an Ultimate-er SS thing to do?

Post up a pic of yourself and hope you look like some hot MALE celebrity...

http://www.myheritage.com

Wow...if i really looked like Aston Kutcher i would love my self so much more! *think "The Guardian"*
Oh ya! i went with Angie and Lishan to watch "The Guardian" in IMU on wednesday!
It was great! and who said it was corny? it so wasnt corny!
And the fact that it was FOC and food was provided helped too =)

OK..Common sing with me the CG theme song

*intro guitar strumming*
Syiok Sendiri Syiok Sendiri
*finger pointing to the air dance*
Syiok Sendiri Syiok Sendiri

Go on people, that was the que! This the part where you shower me with unending praises till me head kembang and i float away on a huge cloud =)
tell me in hot!
now!
im hot!

At times like these

At times like these
Only the memories make you want to move foward
Only tiredness keeps you awake at all times of the night.

*Mental notes* gahh..denise, you realise you always emo right before exams? perfect timing girl *slaps self* (softly la of course)

At times like these
I tell myself i can get through this
I tell myself i've been alright so far and so the remaining days will alright as well
I tell myself i will get through this
At times like these
I refuse to get through it.

"LORD You seem so far away a million miles or more it seems today. And though i havent lost my faith, i must confess right now that it's hard for me to face. But i dont know what to say, and i dont know where to start"

It's ironic that the song i am supposed present this coming weekend speaks so much about my life at the current moment.
Lord i know that i am not alone. I know You never left me because Your love, speaks for itself. But it still hurts, and i still find myself questioning. Lord, i dont want to keep wondering anymore, give me peace. Amen.