1 Liter of Tears

I missed the Orientation Officers first meeting today. Sigh....what kind of OO am i going to make lar, dates of the FIRST meeting oso can get mixed up. Im diappointed in myself *shame shame*
How are the young juniors going to look up to me, respect me and trust me with their lives now?? how?

Mayb i should just give up and go be a bloodsucking-evil loving-sinister Station Master.
(HAH! fat chance lar)

Anyways... to Geoff (group leader =P),Pei,Xan,Angie(hehe..although you also didnt attend the meeting) and old mustaqim (chief OO) my most sincere apologies. I got the days mixed up, i thot tuesday was the 21st. How doink can i get?! *hits self on the head*

I would call or message you guys to say sorry or explain myself properly, but i've been searching my entire house the whole morning. My handphone is missing!!! I cant find it!!!
It ran out of creadit bout a 2 weeks ago, then it ran out of battery, was too lazy to search for the also missing charger so i left it at home and havent been using it for quite sometime. Then this morning when i needed to contact you guys, it was gone! And now i dont have anyone's phone number! bohohoho....

*gasp!* and i just realised im flying of to sarawak on wednesday! that gives me less than 48hours to relocate my handphone, or else im going to fly to a foreign land UNARMED! the horror!

And i havent started packing for the trip yet *double gasp*
And i and eunice havent finished making the visual presentation *triple gasp*
And we also havent started on the title for our timeline yet *gasp gasp gasp gasp faint*
Mayb i am a little underprepared for this trip afterall.

Ok, enough about mixed up date meetings and horror trips. I want to tell you what i did last nite! (which would also partly explain why i missed the meeting)

In hopes of saving poor old Denise from dying of boredom, my darling cousin Xiao Yen took pity on me and borrowed me this japanese DVD
''1 Litter of Tears''
I guess from the tittle itself you can tell how happy and cheerfull the show was. At first i was a little skeptical too, cos most korean and japanese dramas have the same plot.
''boymeetsgirl-boyandgirlfight-boyrealisehecantlivewithoutcutegirl'snagging-girlthinkboynice-boyfallforgirl-girlfallforboy-girlgetseriousterminalillness-crycrycry-girl'sconditiongetsworst-butstilleverbeautifulinbedwithmakeupon-girldies-boyvowsnevertomarryagain.

But this movie.It was different.I tell you it was tear jerking from the start! The producers have to consideration for your feelings wan.It's really, too touching lar. i had to stop and rest halfway thru dics2 cos the heart just couldnt take it anymore.

It's basically a true story bout a 15 year old girl,at the prime of her life, being diagnosed with mutation of the spinal cord and cerebellum (i think). the illness causes the once active class president and basketball player to gradually loose control of her body movements. No cure to date.Slowly she losses ability to run,walk,hold things, talk, trouble expressing herself. Going back to school is so hard, she finally had to attend a 'special school' She is still ever the same on the inside, intellectual ability is not affected,the mind is still active. And i think that is the worst part of the disease. To actually know what is happening around and to yourself, but unable to find a way to express yourself. Still active as ever inside,but the total opposite on the outside. the simple task of moving a leg needs all the concentration a 15year old can muster.its literally being trap in your own body.

This 15 year old girl had to live with the disease as best as she could. Everything is seen in a different light,a different angle. Family,friends,nature,music,walks in the park,the chance to fall in love. All of these things take on a new meaning when you're pressed for time. So she had to compact her whole growing up life in the 10 years granted to her.

A quote:
''Although i've been hurt by heartless stares, i know in some there is a gentle stares''
(the english translation was a lil bad, but you get the idea)
I'm sure you can imagine with me, a pretty,smart, atheletic girl, suddenly unable to walk properly,unable to pronounce her words. People cant help but to feel pity and sad for her.

But maybe thats just the problem with our society. We see a crippled or blind or sick person, and we feel pity for them. It's not wrong to have pity for them, because in pitying them, we are trying to share in their sadness.
But what we should always remember when we see a sick person is, to not only look at the disability, but first and foremost to acknowledge a dignified human in that body. We say ''dont judge a book by its cover''. So isnt cancer,AIDS,down syndrome,blindness just different version of a 'cover'? Isnt it just a shell? Arent they just the same inside?wanting respect and self worth just like the rest of us?
I admit I've never been in their shoes and i cant possibly understand what they are going thru. But i remember how it felt as a child, when everyone told me, i was too young to do anything. And even as teenagers, we often harp about how we are treated like kids,not allowed to do things for ourselves. We dread feeling inferior,uncapable, dependent.

So why should we make less-abled people feel that dreaded way? None of us can live on this earth without help in one way or another from someone else. We are dependant creatures,all of us. So whats the big fuss if they sometimes need a lil more help than others? Give the help to them, but also treat them like everybody else. The girl in the movie, she liked it best when everyone continued doing their normal activities, including her in when possible. Because that was the home she grew up in, thats the way she wanted to remember it. She didnt want everyone changing just to accomodate her,because that would mean she was no longer part of the family, it would mean the family was trying to serve her. Just because they need a little help, it doesnt mean they cant contribute as much back into society. It doesnt mean they cant help others in need.It doesnt mean we cant learn as much from them as we do from our books.

We always teach our children to be considerate towards disabled people. Then why are we doing the opposite? Why do we shy away and suddenly find the floor tiles so interesting when we see them in public places? Are afraid to look at them in the eye and give a smile or a nod of 'hello'?Are we afraid that they might get offended if we recognised their disability? But wont they be even more offended if we ignored them and instead give pityinh smiles to their care givers?

Why, when wanting to ask about their condition we direct our questions to the caregivers/parents and not the patient himself?Are we saying they dont know enough about themselves and need a spokesperson in their behalf?

The fact that I'm studying to be a doctor.....well,
am i being too harsh?too inconsiderate in thinking these things? i dont know.
I know people with illnesses need help and understanding from us, but couldnt we give in a way that would not take away their dignity?

The next time i see a less-abled sister, i'm going to try to stop myself from feeling pity ar sad for her. I'm going to try to look beyong her shell, and i'm going to see a fellow human worthy or respect and admiration.

Easier said than done.

(opps...better go back looking for my handphone. Gah!)