With love, Suyin.

Little one,
why do tears stain your pillow at night? Admiring the raindrops falling outside your window, you wish everything could be as simple again. That everything could be washed anew by Mother Nature’s gentle tears.

Little one,
why do you laugh so hard? Smile so wide? Half hoping the happy noises would drive away the darkness of things you no longer want to dwell in. A great mask to fool the world, but it isn’t the truth.

Little one,
why do you love looking to the skies? Trying to convince yourself that there must be more to life than ‘This’. That your circumstances are only temporary, and that in the vast possibilities of life, things will change. Sooner or later.

Little one,
why are you so afraid of being without company? Fearing that the silence and solitude would lead you to acknowledging, to thinking, and to feeling the things you’ve been so good at running away from.

Little one, why do you still…
Fear solitude?
Look to the heavens?
Laugh so hard?
Smile so wide?
Tear-stain your pillow?

It’s tiring.
So very tiring to still wish, hope and cry over something you were not meant to have. Your eyes show, your voice tells. You’ve been mourning silently for too long. But no matter how much your Little Heart breaks, there are just somethings we cannot change.

I don’t know why it has to hurt so much, or if the pain and regret will ever heal.

But I’m writing this for you,
So you don’t have to stain your pillow tonight.
So you can once again laugh and smile not because you have to, but because you want to.
So you can look to up, and instead of surrendering to the vastness of the skies, see a definite wonderful future for yourself.
I’m writing this for you, so you won’t have to be afraid of being alone, because you never are.

With love,
Suyin.