Cabut!!!!

I've been sitting in this ice box for about 4 hours now, studying (haha)

And even though I know i'm going to regret this day, i just feel like getting up and leaving.

I dont know what i will do yet, i might finish my penang dvds, i might go grocerry shopping, i might go watch a movie, i might go jogging again, i might pump my petrol tank and go for a drive, i might buy a new pet!, i might eat salmon, i might buy a lil cactus, i might cut my hair, i might try swimming, i might go for a buffet, i might get a colouring book, i might even cook!

Hehe so many other things, i just have to drag my freezing butt pass that glass door and make a run for it! Sem5 doenst start for another 4 days, so what am i doing here? Sure 4 days marks the begining of my worst nightmare, sure Eos is real close, sure im going to look back and wished i spent a few hours productively during the hols, sure sure....

And as all the wise caution to study fly pass my ears,
im packing up silently now hehe, warm sunlight here i come! Whee~

ps: Sorry adelin, i promised to be a good pelajar contoh and wait for you here but it was just too darn cold and i forgot to bring my dvds with me! sorry?

Ok gotta run now before my common sense catches up with me! Aaaaaaah CABUT!!!

GP Posting

SInce everyone seemed to have so much to say about their posting, thought i might as well fill some space.

GP Posting, Day 1:

Well of course I was nervous, the prospects of sitting in a tiny examination with a doctor for 7 straight hours, is very different from the KKB Hospital rounds we’ve been doing the past semesters. Because right there in that room, I can’t wait for other students to answer the questions for me, I can pretend I am a wall, I can’t disappear to the canteen when I see a doctor walking by, I am to sit in my chair, watch, listen, wait and hopefully, learn. And of course what I always dread the most is the shooting game. The game where doctors get to shoot me down with questions that I should already know the answers to, but at the moment I open my mouth to answer, I forget. That’s another thing you know, I usually have a BIG mouth, but that seems to shrink into a hardly audible squeak when I talk in formal settings. Anyways those were my anxieties before I drove my wira to the clinic. What if my hair is too messy? What if my clothes were not appropriate? What if I cant answer questions a Form5 student could? What if my silly grin came up again and I made a fool of myself? What if he tells me I just wasn’t cut out to be a doctor and should just go crawl back into a dustbin? From experience and rumours, I had concluded that doctors are mean to noob medical students like us. Whether it is out of love to toughen us up, or concern because that was the only way they were taught oldschool, or some students just honestly deserve a wake up call (I’m raising my hand for this one) or they just forgot last night’s dose of anti-depressant medicine, I don’t know, but I was scared. That’s why for the better half of the morning session in the clinic I sat on my stool and hoped hard for a steady flow of patients, sounds mean of me to hope people get sick, but I just wanted the doctor occupied enough so he wouldn’t ask me any questions, and besides I liked watching him converse with the patients and perform his examinations, so calm and collected. I was happy for about an hour, but even a busy clinic doesn’t have patients marching in steadily at 60seconds intervals. It was inevitable. I hold my Oxford’s handbook tightly even though I’ve hardly used it in my life, I hear it’s supposed to be the god-given gift to all medical student in the situation I was in at that moment: desperate. He begins by reviewing some of the patients we’ve seen so far, something about this and something about that, I panic. Then he asks what we know about the said condition, which was a rather simple disease but I start praying Xandra was listening more than I was. Through out the day the questions trickled in slowly, but to my surprise the sarcasm I had been expecting didn’t arrive at all. I still couldn’t answer most of the questions, of course that’s true because I haven’t been studying, and when I tried to answer using common sense and luck some weren’t as accurate, but he didn’t make me feel like I should feel miserable for my sorry self. I was a little shocked, in a good way. He asked our opinions on things that didn’t have textbook answers and didn’t judge us of it. All in all, I am glad I met a doctor who even after being so qualified in many ways and experienced as he is, tries to understand the babbling of a little medical student shivering from head to toe in her lab coat waiting to be embarrassed. Surprisingly I am looking forward to day 2, and not so surprisingly I think I need to go do a little reading up now =P.

Yeah so thats what i was thinking after the first day at the clinic. The following 4 days were just fine, came back with a flu and fever. Can't believe I'm a 3rd year medical student already.

Happy New Year!

Chinese New Year for us:

Didn’t go back Johor.

Spent it quiet here this year.

Can’t say I didn’t enjoy it as much this way around. =)

Lotsa lazing around in the living room, lotsa dvds, lotsa sleeping, lotsa “sien” echoing around, lotsa laughs.

Watched “Becoming Jane” late last night in the room with my laptop when we supposed to be sleeping. The sound quality so bad we had to control our breathing to hear the conversations.Woke up late to a warm pancake breakfast. Left late to meet Fiona, Dawn and Crystal at Pyramid for some shopping. Came home with more than I initially planned to buy. Sleep. Spaghetti for dinner. Tired. Planning to watch “27 Dresses” later when it finishes downloading. And if it doenst hurry up, another breath holding session tonight.

It would be simple, ordinary days with them, like these that I will miss the most once Clinical School begins. Just thinking about it is scary. Anyways half a year more to go, will just make sure I enjoy the rest of it =)

Pictures i stole

This is what happens when you think too much:

You cant figure out where all that thinking led you to.

Everybody do the Robot Dance.

I finally watched Transformers today. And i must say it was NICE! Not only nice because they had all those cool cars and power transformation moves (well duh~ the show is called Transformers right), the movie was made even nicer because it made clearer to me, an event that happened the night before....

Thursday was out last day of rotations, so after lunch i went back to vista, packed my stuff and had took a nap. So around 8pm after my dinner i started moving my stuff to my car. Because of the amount of things i had to carry home with me this time, baju for GP posting and penang trip, the books incase i insaf and want to start studying, i decided to take half of the them down and make a second trip for the rest.

So i brought all my books down, opened the boot and dumped them in.
Then i closed the boot.
Then i look at what i had in my hands:
Wallet, check- handphone,check- housekeys,check- carkeys, chhh....
NO WAIT I DIDNT HAVE MY CAR KEYS
WHERE DID MY CAR KEYS GO?

I looked at the keyhole on the boot, cos sometimes i am like that, i accidentally leave the carkeys stuck in the keyhole when i lift the boot open. But it wasnt there.
I bent down and shine my minitorch light i bought during my Taylor's years to guide me through the dark stairs or My Place Apartments. But it wasnt there.
I checked the road.
I checked my pockets.
I checked my hands again.

I had locked my car keys in my own boot.

Suddenly images of large drills making a huge hole in my wira started flashing in my mind.

Cold sweat.

I always new i would one day do something very irresposible with that car, and today was the day.

Anyways skipping the boring details on how i came up with planA, then later planB, and finally settling with plan C, i called home found out the drills werent going to be a problem because there is such thing as a ''spare'' key. And so happened that Xandra and Jen Lye were in the library that night, libo-ing so i was allowed to follow them back to subang. Thanks guys!

Because i didnt watch Transformers earlier, i was feeling guilty and silly the whole nite. But this morning i watched the dvd my dad bought, and it all became clear to me.

Maybe it wasnt my fault afterall. Maybe my wira is an alien robot. Maybe in some weird way it had to save the world by eating my car keys for a night.

My name is Cheobu. And i send this message out to all Cheobus out there seeking refuge in their little pink cars. The aliens are here. They wait to trick you into thinking you are a bimbo my swallowing your car keys when you empty stuff into your boot. They are waiting.

I knew the instants i mentioned "Transformers" at the begining of this post, the picture in every male reader's head was probably this one:

Haha cant say that i blame them. A cheobu who can fix cars? *salute*

Oh but just a random fact lar not that i am trying to compete with Megan Fox ( crazy meh, MEGAN FOX leh), but i know how to refill water for my car ady. May not sound like much, but i *salute* myself.

PS: additional information i just got from Rooney, apparently her full name is Megan Denise Fox! Proves my theory of the great Denises: VJ Denise, Megan Denise Fox, Denise Richards, I'm pretty sure the owner of Denise Wine Shop is pretty hot, and Denise Tan (me).

Too much day dreaming

I sit at my table, with the lecture notes I’ve been meaning to finish by the end of this week. But as always, they look as foreign to me now as they did 7 days ago.

I’ve been reading the line “In the cervical and upper thoracic segments it becomes segmental clusters (Nephrotomes)” about 5 times now in the past 10 minutes, and rather than registering in some insignificant corner of my brain, it remains stuck on the page. Page 4 of Repro embryology for those of you in IMU, and please don’t go screaming in panic, I assure you this is the first set of notes I’ve even attempted to read. I arranged the embryology before the male reproduction lectures because it just made more sense that way. Anyways this isn’t about the impending EOS5 doom. For those not from IMU, this March I will start semester5 at the end of which, I will be sitting for my End of Semester Exam. If I pass, I get to graduate from Bukit Jalil and carry on clinical school in Seremban (big whee~) if I don’t, errr…another 6 months in bukit jalil or I look into my promising career of begging on the street for my supper.

Anyways like I said earlier, this isn’t about the coming exams, or the little butterflies doing their cha-cha routine in me tummy. I know the exams are coming, I know I am a little worried, I know it’s going to be a tiring semester, but I also know that the strength that got me through EOS3 will also get me through this, the strength only God can provide =)

This is about wanting more. Maybe it’s because I have too much time and spend it on silly movies or far fetched stories, but all around me I see and hear about people doing big, huge, things with their lives. People who are living in the extreme: extreme dangers, extreme adventures, extreme risks, extreme ups, extreme downs, extreme excitement, extreme disappointment, extreme passion, extreme devotion to a cause. To see all this and then come back to my little desk, I feel so safe, so small, so plain and almost too normal.

I know these are things only kids in spider man outfits are brave enough to wish for, and for me, a 20 year old it is naive to even waste time daydreaming like that. But the point here is not whether I’m thinking my age, the point here is that there is that longing, that heavy feeling inside me and I was just wondering if it was normal.

I sit here reading, and too often I turn to the window beside my table and stare. I stare at the towering trees in the park, I stare into the green for the longest time, wondering if this is what my life will always be like. I will graduate, I will go to work, like everybody else I will whine and complain about it, I will start a family, I will grow old, and when life finally slows down I will sit in my chair and again stare into the green, wondering if that was the life I was supposed to live.

Don’t you feel a little cheated? That your life could be summarized in 6 sentences? Haven’t you ever look at the picture of you life and said ‘something doesn’t feel right here, I need to wake up now’? Did it ever cross you that since you were only given ONE chance at live on this earth, that it should be something extraordinary?

If tomorrow they found a new gem, one with a color no human eyes have ever seen, one with a shine so unique they didn’t know what to call it, one cut in such a way no mathematical angle could explain, one gem that was the only one of its kind on earth. What do you thing they could do with that gem? Would they weigh it and put it in the local jewelers shop? Like any other gem would they compare transparencies to put a price on it the conventional way? Would they use the standards of other gems to compare and put a worth on this gem, the only gem of its kind? No. The simple fact that it was the only one, already made it special beyond any weighing or measuring or comparing. Because the fact is when you have something that is the only one of its kind in you hands, there is no use comparing, it is so different that nothing else will be able to match up.

So wouldn’t you feel cheated when You, the person born on that day, at that time, in that place, to that home, with those colored eyes, with that said number of hair on your head, with that one passion you carry in your heart, so specific and different, is expected to be ‘just like everybody’ else?

People say this is naive thinking, too superficial and prepubescent but i wonder if they've ever had that little small void inside at one point of their lives too.

I wish I had the courage to find my passion and pursue it.
But there will always be that nagging responsibility sitting on my shoulder, reminding about the things I’m ‘expected’ to do in this life, not that those things are bad, they are the right things to do for myself , for my loved ones and for the society I live in. But I just worry that by the time I finish doing the things my responsibility holds me to, I will no longer have time to do the things I want to.

Anyways, conclusion is:

One life. One individual. One of a kind life don’t ya think?

One of a kind ;p

Ponteng.

These are nice things that could happen to you:

You wake up at 6.30am and realise it's saturday morning, there is no school =)

You are late for a meeting and as you hit the busiest road in town, the road is clear =)

You read a lecture, and find out you have actually prepared for next week's lecture =)

But this is a nice thing that actually happened to me:

You prepare yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally (cos you will probably feel like the biggest noob on the planet) for a week long GP posting with the local clinic, and find out that the slot had to be given to another group of student, leaving you with a week of unplanned, unscheduled, untouched holiday waiting for you.

*star jump*

On the hindsight, of course i would still have to replace the GP posting later in Feb. But either way, I'm still enjoying the feeling of pontenging something i was supposed to be attending all week!

My little happy treat aside, last friday the 11th of Jan was Rachel's and Hwei Wan's birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAY!

To Rachel: Happy birthday sis! Seeing how much you love talking, may you never run out of things to say, and never loose that divine ability to turn my brain into fastfoward and mute mode. And may i as you wonderful older sister try my best and resist the temptation to shave your head bald while you're asleep =)))

bday girl in blue. observe tho the china girl holding the umbrella, i swear i dont know her =p

To Hwei Wan: Happy birthday Hwei Wan! May you never run out of patience when dealing with my kicking your chair in the lecture hall, and may you have alot alot of purple and white bajus cos you look so hawt! oh ya, and may you bring us your dear-darling-lovable-ever ready-never greedy-always pure in intentions- friends on that vincci spree with your birthday discount card =)))

Hehehehehe
I know i dont show it much (refer above to bday dedications), but yea i do love those ladies lar.
And i wish them all the happiness one can have =)