This month's theme song:

Good music and good lyrics can really effect one's emotions
Thats why in movies, it is crutial that they use the right songs to set moods for certain scenes.
I find that it really works to enhance the movie.

For the sad and doomed love mood, think - Winter sonata
For the happy holiday mood,think - Beach Boy's "Wouldnt it be nice"
For the sisterhood mood, think - Gilmore Girl's "I Will Follow"
For the love at first sight mood, think - Any pop love song
For the suspense nail-biting mood, think - JAWS "deeeng deng. deeeng deng..."
For the nothing could possibly go wrong mood, think - The Carpenter's "Top of the World"

NOW...
THIS JUNE 2007...
There is going to be a whole new mood around here in IMU...

The "Just read, Just write, and Just do the freaking EOS and get it over with" mood is here.
And my self-declared theme song shall be:

Survivor by Destiny's Child.

I'm a survivor,
I'm not gonna give up,
I'm not gon' stop,
I'm gonna work harder,
I'm a survivor,
I'm gonna make it,
I will survive,
Keep on survivin

ps: cvs still looks as scary as it did half a year ago. Why do somethings never change? =p

If pictures could paint a thousand words...

Phantom = indescribable

But will take my own sweet time to describe it once I'm done with GI.

So in the mean time....

Enjoy this, a collection of pictures supposedly to describe me.

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Leaving.

"Cos I'm leaving on a jet plane
Dont know when I'll be back again..."

well actually its just the back of my dad's jeep
And I'll be back on sunday.
Not as romantic as the song, but who cares?
I AM ONE EXCITED GIRL!!!!

Am going with the family to *rwar* land to watch

*jeng jeng jeng*

"In sleep he sang to me, In dreams he came, That voice which calls to me, And speaks my name. And do I dream again? For now I find. The Phantom of the Opera is there-Inside my mind."

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

LIVE

IN SINGAPORE

Can you believe it?!?! Neither can i!!!
Wah excited leh...

But now The phantom of the opera is like really there inside my mind already lor. Cant concentrate on studying...
Aiyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo....cant seem to sit still leh. Fidgetting here and there in the library!

I'm wasting time here.
Stress....bring me to singapore now. Please?

ps: there is just someting exciting about leaving in the middle of exam preparations for a short holiday, knowing fully well that i should be mugging and stessing with the rest of the imu folks. haha but well, dont miss me too much k!

pps: Aiyak... on the other hand, really hope i can catch up with work once i get back. Dont want to regret anything leh =p

ppps: whoops...16hours more till we leave.

Nature has immense healing powers. It compels you to see it in all its beauty and along the way, slowly drop the little baggage of life behind you as you trail on.

Even with a camera it’s hard to capture the beauty of gentle rays of sunbeams peaking through a treetop canopy, making you feel you’ve discovered an enchanted kingdom somehow. Even with a million words it’s hard to describe the song of a flowing river.

Nothing beats being there. Being right there in the centre of paradise. Splashing the cool water as you trek up the stream. Squishing the sand between you toes. Feeling the pressure underneath the magnificent waterfall. Embracing the great trunk of a tree that took unimaginable patient years to grow. Marveling at the intricate detailed delicacy and frailty of a perfectly formed spider web. Feasting the eye on the great vibrancy of the fiery red wild ginger flower. All these beautiful things, all these miracles and more, can be so overwhelming I can’t say enough and thus can only try to take in as much as I possibly can. Absorbing every sight, every sound, every sensation.

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities- His eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” (Romans 1:20)

I am indeed without excuse. Without excuse to be in total awe of Him and His creation.

On the 1st of May, the Young Adults organized a trip to the Sungai Pisang waterfall near the foot of Genting. Since it was a public holiday and I am way behind my GI schedule, I was still a little unsure if I wanted to go along this time. But boy was I glad I went in the end! I don’t regret a single second spent there! The closest I can get to describing my feeling about the trip is… Breathtaking… I’ve only been on a few trekking trips but I must say this was the best! There was just so so so much to take in. So much to see, so much to hear, so much to smell, so much to experience and I still couldn’t get enough of it.

There were ten of us who made our way to Sungai Pisang. Uncle Michael Wong (our trusty guide for the day!), Uncle Michael Fun ( our super cool photographer for the day), Uncle Kevin ( our ‘macho’ lifeguard for the day), Daniel, Ian, FioOoOonananana, Jennifer, Xiao Yen, Lesley, myself and our special guest star…. LISHAN! Lishan aka the drowning cat actually came with us to the waterfall wei!! Haha…so glad you could join us girl, luckily you didn’t spend that time pigging at home instead rite? Hope you had a good time =p

So basically what we did was after arriving HALF an hour late (sorry people but you know I love you right?), had breakfast at church and then set of in the direction of Genting! We passed Bukit Jalil on the way, and so I told Lishan to memorise the road to the waterfall so we can go there on our own next time to distress after killer GI , but erm…I think tak jadi lar. Memorise road to midvalley also so susah ady.

Anyways, parked the cars near the end of the river and from then on, it was trekking all the way for us! And oh, did I mention we (FioOonana, Xiao Yen, Lesley and myself) all bought crocs specially for the trip? SO cute ler! But of course fake crocs lar, from Giant hypermarket RM15. So if you want to be cool like us with fake crocs and a big ‘asadi’ label on the top to show off, go buy k? Cheap cheap =)

So we trekked up stream, through a tunnel, and through the jungle for about an hour before we arrived at the 1st real waterfall Denise has ever seen in her life! The journey trekking was as enjoyable as seeing the waterfall itself. And off course, according to true BSGC tradition, it was accompanied with a lot of screaming and splashing of water and rubbing mud and sand into each other’s heads and bullying innocent people =p.

Call me ‘jakun’ but there were a lot of things that I was excited to see, some for the first time of my life (eg: a huge spider on its web, kids diving of rocks now THIS one I will explain more in awhile) , and some because the ALWAYS get me excited no matter how many times I see them (eg: wild mushrooms, so many size shape and colour man!). The scenery was marvelous. Like take right out of a storybook, I half could not believe where I was.

After the waterfall, we climbed up to a higher source where there was a little pool. And there were many kids there jumping and swimming and seriously enjoying life ler. I think of the way we kids spend our days back in the city and *sigh* its just such a waste to live life half full. I mean, being out there is seriously the way to live man =P

AnywaysSsss….highlight of the trip was….

I JUMPED OFF A ROCK!!!!!!!
And as though that wasn’t enough…
I JUMPED OFF A TREE PLANK!!!!!!
It was basically a huge fallen tree trunk that just happened to end right at the pools deep side.

Like *whoah* never in a million year did I ever imagine myself doing something so daring! I mean of course I’ve seen people do it in the movies and the kids at the waterfall were also glad to give us free performances. BUT ME? DENISE TAN aka chicken butt? JUMP OFF A PLANK AND DUNK INTO A DEEP POOL?

The feeling of standing way up there, looking down below me into the deep deep water, knowing fully well I could not swim, and then taking a deep breath while the others scream 1… “oh no, denise what are you doing here?” 2… “argh..are you really going to do this?your out of your mind woman,turn back turn back!” 3!!!!!! “aiyo, whatever la just heck it!”

*splash*

I remember staring at the water surface the split milisecond before I entered it with a splash and thinking “This is so unreal!”. Haha but it was mighty fun!!!! Thank you so much Uncle Kevin for volunteering your lifeguard skills to pull us out when after we splashed in. If it weren’t for him I would never have dared attempt such a bold feat! Thank you to the 2 Uncle Michaels for calming me down when I was at the top of that rock and later on plank. It it weren’t for them I would most probably have chickened out and turned back =p

Haha seriously once in a lifetime must try! Guys the next time you get the chance to, make sure you grab it ya? Safety first OF COURSE =P And I am proud to announce that EVERYONE that day jumped into the pool. EVERYONE wei! Even Lesley kekeke… =)

Anyways to sum up, it was great!! Would I go again? DEFINITELY YES YES YESssSSSss!!!!
Thank you everyone who made it possible I truly enjoyed myself =)

Haha…the pictures should be out soon. Cant wait!

I.. Is.. Tofu..Tofu.. Is..Me

We are supposed to hand in our proposed sem3 elective forms by Thursday!!! And I haven’t figured what I wanted to do yet!!! I need a bigger brain!!!

I’m usually very excited when it comes to planning for electives. I still remember planning for the elective I did after sem1. Boy was I hyped up. I couldn’t believe I was going to actually create real bouquets and ornaments and table arrangements with my own hands! With real fresh flowers! In a real flower shop! It may sound bimbo-ish and I might look back years from now and scratch my head wondering why I splurged half my allowance on a course that would in no way benefit my career/contribute to the greater good of mankind/promote world peace… but heck! I loved it!

I especially liked picking and choosing the flowers for each new piece. Type of flower, shape, size, COLOUR, matching them and un-matching them! And the last few twicking and fussing over little details, making sure the faces of the daisies are smiling at you, and the ferns are flowing smoothly all to make it the perfect secret garden… *sigh* I’m really glad I got the chance to do that. I still have one single picture which I couldn’t squeeze into my report, pasted on my wall of my room. It is not so much my arrangement that makes it look beautiful, but more comes from the natural beauty with which God Himself used to create each flower that amazes me. The flowers are the beautiful thing, and flower arrangement is simply a way of presenting them. And it is just a joy being around these things that remind me of His creation.

I love my future-would-be profession as a doctor (assuming I pass the exams in one piece that is =P). But its nice to have a spare place you can go to daydream, a little something you can divert your attention to when you feel too *sien* with where ever you are stuck in. Not that I’m *sien* with med school, I love it! Just sometimes tired mah, physio is killer ler =p. And so, I think my spare daydream would be to open a little flower shop when I’m retired! Hehe…

I don’t think it’s wrong to have these little daydreams. The doctor I used to work for in a subang clinic told me she always wanted to open a bakery. With lots and lots sweet cakes, muffins, shortcakes, brownies, cupcakes. Basically everything with sugar and icing la, even though she is a diagnosed diabetic … tsk tsk =p

Anyways… that was my 1st elective. Now back to the main problem here. SEM3 ELECTIVE.

Here are the brainstorms so far:

Outward bound school in SABAH! – gosh, I was super excited when I found out from Ian Zing that they had a programme right in the middle of our holidays. I’ve always TALKED about going since high school, but timing and circustances never allowed. And now finally, there is a good excuse (Uni project ma, I can tell my dad ‘MUST’ do wan) and the timing is perfect! BUT… my dad knows me too well ler. He say I too tofu. Hence the title of this post. Of course he didn’t use those exact words, but take home message was about there la. So nope, no hanging from tree tops and brushing teeth with salt water for me this year.

Oil/ pastel/ acrylic painting??? – When I was back in Johore this CNY, I saw some paintings my aunty had been working in this past year and I literally FELL IN LOVE with them. Bee-u-ti-fol. I always wondered how people could use a blank canvas to transport the mind to a whole new place, a new world *wow*. I would love to learn, but am wondering if there is a pre-requisite, like I got to know some basics before they even consider my application or not. Well it is a hopeful thought! =)

Hospital attachment – Yes, yes, yes, I know I will be spending the rest of my life in a hospital so why get so excited now right? I thought so too, and after my 1st hospital attachment in TDMC (read boring), I wasn’t so keen on doing any attachments with the hospitals here. But then I heard from Li Shan that since her mom was a nurse at Mt Elizabeth Hosp, we could get attached with SPECIALISTS and stay the night for A&E with her mom. It caught my attention cause specialists usually don’t usually bother giving you the time of day what more with mere med students, mere BLUR ones like me. And also cause I haven’t exactly figured out if /what I want to specialize in yet so it might be an eye-opener. **PLUS** Bonus marks for getting to lodge at the famous Low’s crib for 2 weeks, good food, free slave (aka LiShan), personal guide around S’pore (also LiShan).

Learn mandarin- now THIS would be the right, responsible, rational, beneficial, matured, far-sighted, realize-I’m-no-longer-a baby- and-need-to-learn-my-own mother-tongue thing to do. But still… when it come to potentially embarrassing yourself in front of a class full or pre-puberty kids, Procrastination is my good friend =p

Learn some computer skills other than MSN/Words/Excel/Frienter/Blogspot- *Refer to explanation for learning mandarin*

Pottery classes??? – saw one class before. Man sounds interesting eh?

Geez… I gotta stop myself here. So far everything I listed save for the hosp attachment in s’pore is so non-medical student like. Think Denise…think… what would a med student like myself do for fun and still manage to get the approval from my tutor? Hmm…

This is probably one of the longest posts I’ve ever written. And one of the very few in diary form. Haha… but it was good to sort things out a little. Ok gotta remind myself I kinda need to make sure I pass GI and EOS3 before I plan too far with my electives =p

The Ultimate SS thing to do.

What is the ultimate Syiok-Sendiri thing to do?

Post up a picture of yourself and hope you look like some hot female celebrity...

http://www.myheritage.com

What is an Ultimate-er SS thing to do?

Post up a pic of yourself and hope you look like some hot MALE celebrity...

http://www.myheritage.com

Wow...if i really looked like Aston Kutcher i would love my self so much more! *think "The Guardian"*
Oh ya! i went with Angie and Lishan to watch "The Guardian" in IMU on wednesday!
It was great! and who said it was corny? it so wasnt corny!
And the fact that it was FOC and food was provided helped too =)

OK..Common sing with me the CG theme song

*intro guitar strumming*
Syiok Sendiri Syiok Sendiri
*finger pointing to the air dance*
Syiok Sendiri Syiok Sendiri

Go on people, that was the que! This the part where you shower me with unending praises till me head kembang and i float away on a huge cloud =)
tell me in hot!
now!
im hot!

At times like these

At times like these
Only the memories make you want to move foward
Only tiredness keeps you awake at all times of the night.

*Mental notes* gahh..denise, you realise you always emo right before exams? perfect timing girl *slaps self* (softly la of course)

At times like these
I tell myself i can get through this
I tell myself i've been alright so far and so the remaining days will alright as well
I tell myself i will get through this
At times like these
I refuse to get through it.

"LORD You seem so far away a million miles or more it seems today. And though i havent lost my faith, i must confess right now that it's hard for me to face. But i dont know what to say, and i dont know where to start"

It's ironic that the song i am supposed present this coming weekend speaks so much about my life at the current moment.
Lord i know that i am not alone. I know You never left me because Your love, speaks for itself. But it still hurts, and i still find myself questioning. Lord, i dont want to keep wondering anymore, give me peace. Amen.