It is odd

To be surrounded by people and motion.
And feel so silent inside.

I miss you.

Hourglass

Don't narrow ourselves.

"The Sun Never Says"

(Manang, Nepal, 2011)

Even

After
All this time

The Sun never says

To the Earth

"You owe me."

Look

What happens

With love like that.

It lights the

Whole

Sky.

~Hafiz, 14th century Sufi poet.

For future rolling

*dodge* *roll* *dodge* *wheeeee*

Lenka- Roll With The Punches

The beginning of the rest of your life...

MBBS (2011)

Camerons. Penang. Taman Negara. Singapore. Vietnam. Hanoi. Ha Long Bay.

Cat Ba Island. NinhBinh. Hue. Hoi An. Nha Thrang Beach. Dalat.

Ho Chi Minh/Saigon. Cambodia.Phnom Penh. Siam Reap.

Angkor Wat. Laos. Vientiane.Vang Vieng.

Luang Prabang. Thailand. Bangkok.

Kuching. Singapore again.

Nepal. Kathmandu.

Annapurna.

Pokhara.

Ipoh.

Yeah...I think I'm about ready now.

To be fully alive, fully human, and out of the nest!

1, 2..

Like all worth while things in life;

it was the quality,

never the quantity,

which mattered in the end.

1, 2,

Buckle my shoe;

3, 4,

Knock the door;

5, 6,

Pick up sticks;

7, 8,

Lay them straight;

9, 10,

A big fat hen.

Wisdom @ 1.43am

"Instead of living to 90 years, I'd like to go out with a bang at 60 or something"

"But what if you still have stuff you want to do at 60?"

"Well... There will always be something to do. It's just the matter of making sure the most important ones are done. Like telling my wife I love her when I cuddle her to sleep at night. That's a long term goal."

~Jems Are Not Old Coots

Cat Ba Island

"Majestic and mysterious, inspiring and imperious: words alone cannot do justice to the natural wonder that is Halong Bay. Imagine 3000 or more incredible islands rising from the emerald waters of the Gulf of Tonkin and you have a vision of breathtaking beauty. Halong Bay is pure art, a priceless collection of unfinished sculptures hewn from the hand of nature."

So reads the first paragraph of Lonely Planet on the topic of the Halong Bay and will serve as my introduction to this world heritage as I can't seem to find words rich enough to describe the beauty which lay there. As we traded in our Lonely Planet Vietnam for a Thailand version in Bangkok, I now rely on online reference; but while waiting for our junk (coolness) at the dock I read a portion about the legend of the Halong Bay which read a little like this:

"Halong Bay is the stuff of myths and naturally the Vietnamese have concocted one.Halong translates as ‘where the dragon descends into the sea’. Legend has it that the islands of Halong Bay were created by a great dragon that lived in the mountains. As it charged towards the coast, its flailing tail gouged out valleys and crevasses. When it finally plunged into the sea, the area filled with water, leaving only the pinnacles visible."

HOW COULD I NOT BE PEEING EXCITEMENT AFTER READING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!? =p DRAGON!!!!!!

We boarded a junk (coolness) headed for Cat Ba Island; one of the largest of the 3000 islands in the Halong Bay and supposedly still quite untouched by tourism. Although we did not opt to sleep on board the junk (coolness) most of the other passengers did, the trip itself was a feast for the eyes, sharp cliffs with tufts of green, emerald waters, eagles, floating villages, floating village dogs (coolness). There was even a chance to get down from the junk and paddle a tiny rickety canoe through a cave where a JAMES BOND scene was once filmed. The Halong Bay is also famous for its many caves which would in itself take a whole trip to explore one by one, we were brought to rough translation: "The Cave of Heaven and Hell". Sounded pretty cheesy to me at first, for what cave could possibly mimic heaven or what more hell? Oh... but if Michelangelo could have seen this cave! Be prepared to let out more than 1 unconscious sigh as you experience this cave, such textures i just wanted to touch everything! And true to it's name were two not at all cheesy sites: at one part of the cave, light streamed in from the outside; a light bright and pure, accentuated further by the darkness of the cave that as one stood under that pool of light you almost glow; this they nicknamed heaven. The second part just further down from the first was a deep dark pit, imagine a cave is already by nature dark, and you have an even deeper pit so dark black almost doesn't describe it anymore; we were warned to watch our steps as this nicknamed hell. Well i guess the highlight of the ride for me was chewing on sugar cane shoots atop the sailing junk cutting through green waters and at sunset we finally saw it on the horizon: Cat Ba Island.

We arrived just in time for the last mini van from dock to town, perfect timing for the airy bumpy swerving cliff-hanging ride because the sun was setting making everything glow. Cat Ba Island was just full of great stuff: most worthwhile room I have ever heard of (RM15 for two people, the size of a master bedroom, aircond, water heater, tv, ASTRO, and the nicest friendliest receptionist/motorbike renter/laundry man/ tour guide/all in one ever!)

I have only one complaint: DOGS. So many of them. Everywhere.

We even heard a story from one of the other passengers on the junk who had been to Cat Ba before that he was bit in the calf by a dog! But can't put all the blame on the dog la maybe that tourist got on its nerve, cos he sure did get on mine a few times =p

Cat Ba was also the first place I tried dipping "ya cha kua" into my beef noodles soup!!! Saw a few locals doing this before and OMG it became an addiction because it was soooo good! We finished up the shop owners "ya cha kua" and she had to buy some from her neighbour =p DELICIOUS!!!! We also met some pretty weird people during our dinners there, but that's another story. Another discovery: rice pancakes. Little did we expect rice pancakes to be made of real sticky rice when we made and order that morning. But it was well worth discovering, a real comfort food; thicky, heavy, sticky, savory, with sweet caramelized apples! Who needs bland instant pancake batter when you have stuff like this! As some famous people would say: SYIOK.

A certain someone *ahem* also displayed his more macho side on the Cat Ba Island acting all gung ho about driving around on a rented motorbike, WITHOUT A LICENSE! We took a few test drives up and down the main street (because there are no main roads, its a small Island) and I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared for both our lives. But macho man lived up to his name and off we went! With no map, no GPS, and no sense of direction just occasional sign boards and super friendly locals. It wasn't too hard because the Island is like one huge rock, and we were simply encircling or cutting through it so either way it was a circle.

Haih...how am I going to properly describe this particular motorbike ride? IT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE TRIP FOR ME =p

The sun was up, but the air cool. The trees passed in a green blur, the waters clear and blue. The snaking around the island in mighty curves and dead straight lines. The mighty karsts rose above out heads, and we plunged down steep hills. Awesome. I just kept reminding myself to remember and never never never forget: how amazing this ride was.

Sometime in midday we found the "Cave hospital" by accident. It was a cave converted into an underground hospital when the Vietnamese were at war. The genius of it all makes we even more at awe at these people and their resilience. It was planned out in such detail that they had an operation theater, wards, meeting rooms, and escape passages. They were never discovered even as their enemies circled them from the air.

Travel guides boast about the clear, turquoise waters and white powdery sand of the Cat Cove 1& 2 and while it wasn't really love at first sight or very turquoise nor white for that matter, it was very very very clear. And cold. We were still in north Vietnam where the weather is cool to cold, so jumping into a large body of water sounded pretty Brrrrrr... But by some science/hokuspokus/logic/smartass reasoning, macho man says when the air is cold, the water is warm ergo YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR BUM IN THE WATER TO KEEP WARM. I slowly warmed up to the idea, and gosh was the water clear that day. I could see all the way to my toes. As I still cannot swim, I mostly waddled and sat there while macho man showed his macho-ness. And as I sat there immersed from bum to chin, the water was almost still and there was tranquility....then in the middle of the Halong Bay.... I let out a historic, momentous....pee.

On the night before we were to leave the island, we sat on a bench facing a small dock crowded with boats. Some were for fishing, some leisure, some restaurants. Their white sails turned orange then crimson then indigo; and then the stars came out. The next morning we saw the same transition but in reverse, over two bags of warm sticky rice with chicken floss.

Then it was off to the little town of Ninh Binh.

**P/s: 1am and I'm really missing the food now. My lists of top food priority in descending order: Sticky rice with fatty pork and liver patte, "ya cha kua" dipped in beef/chicken noodle soup, Banh Minh, lala soup, and LOTSA LOTSA BIA HOI! Actually don't need that descending order thingy la, i want them all equally as bad. Sigh~ hungry and sad now.... gardenia bread sounds so boring next to rice pancakes.

**P/s: My blood tests last week showed what I have long suspected: hyperlipidaemia. Looking back maybe Vietnam was the start of my undoing. =p

Just the way things are.

I don't want to forget,

but sometimes its too painful to remember.

Lists

1. Stop thinking about food.

2. Start thinking about how to make proper food.

3. Stop waking up at noon.

4. Start sleeping at night.

5. Stop looking at others.

6. Start praying for myself.

Halong Bay

Near death crossings/lala/CSI/jugs of joy.

To get the flavor of local commuting, fasten your bag upon your back and cross the bridge to the other side of Hanoi city. Careful though the traffic is heavy, and with motorbikes whizzing by carrying all sorts of odd passengers (eg. potted plants, chickens, window panels, styrofoam, etc) PLEASE stay as close to the railing and give way, I really don't think pedestrians were meant to walk on that bridge, only cheap skate ones =p

Upon reaching the other side, continue forward for....hmm...quite awhile. Along the way ask for some directions at the KFC (because Vietnam does not believe in McDonalds) and sooner or LATER you will arrive at the bus station! At this point do not dally too long as you will have to purchase a "bus'' ticket to the Halong Bay. Friendly ''bus'' drivers will escort you to your ''bus'' which is actually a magic van!

One of my most memorable bus/van rides in Vietnam, the first taste of local commute! It was truly amazing if not hilarious how along the way they found ways to fit more and more people into the van, i lost count after 20! And don't for a second think cramping people in meant they compromised quality. No sir. You get first class treatment, the co-pilot is well trained in his duties to call out to you from the door, read your mind, pick up your bags before you even knew you were going to board, give you his very affectionate hand and sometimes if you are really lucky even lift you up by your waist. No extra charges=p And the scenery was as colorful as the people are. Along the ''highway'', (well it is a main road but it is lined with shops and houses I don't know whether to call it a highway because it quite different from those we have back home) you can very well continue your shopping if you had not already in Hanoi. First we saw a someone selling baguettes, very nice for making ''Banh Mi" with liver pate, pork slices, spicy sauce and berlambak-banyak other things. Then we saw 20 other people selling baguettes. Can't help but wonder if the dust and exhaust added to the smoky crispy crunch I loved in my Banh Mi. Then we say someone selling sunglasses. Followed by 20 other people selling sunglasses. Further along the way were conical hatted people who occasionally peered up from their green green paddy fields. It is the greenest green you could ever imagine, almost neon!

Somewhere along the way after many "Oouhs" and "Aaaahs", I fell asleep.

When I woke up it was HALONG BAY!!! Not really because we were dropped of at the side of the 'highway' where we were brought of motorbikes into the HALONG BAY!!! At the first mention of motorbikes, flashbacks of riding a motorbike with Eunice around Pangkor Island reminded me how wobbly my sense of balance was. But golly my proprioception must have matured since then because the ride was a breeze! Felt quite yeng whizzing down the slopes, if only I had a leather jacket! And aviators! And a tattoo! And boots! And a beer belly!

"Hai San" means seafood. And seafood means good food. Had the bestest hugest lala soup and other sea creatures. Dining al fresco, I pretended we were dining in Italy, the breeze and checkered table cloth helped too! The weather was heaven sent. This was also where we continued our devotion to "bia hoi" and had draft beers by the jugs. One particular night we met a group of 4 young Vietnamese who embodied the spirit of ''bia hoi''. The happiest lot I have seen, who found amusement in everything, and were curious enough to invite us strangers next to them to join them and showed us how it was done.

After lots of Hai San and Bia Hoi it was time to set sail, across the Halong Bay for the Cat Ba Island....

*Took our time with the long walks and hearty food, the city mouse converted to a little town mouse*

Oh why not...

Shedding my shirt, my book, my coat, my life

Leaving them, empty husks and fallen leaves

Going in search of food and for a spring of sweet water.

I'll find a tree as fat as ten fat men

Clear water rilling over its grey roots

Berries I'll find, and crab-apples and nuts,

And call it home.

I'll tell the wind my name, and no one else.

True madness takes or leaves us in the wood

half-way through our lives.My skin will be

my face now.

I must be nuts. Sense left with shoes and house,

my guts are cramped. I'll stumble through the green

back to my roots, and leaves and thorns and buds,

and shiver.

I'll leave the way of words to walk the wood

I'll be the forest's man, and greet the sun

And feel the silence blossom on my tongue

like language.

- Going Wodwo, Neil Gaiman-

Hanoi

Mist/fog/haze. Uniforms. Lakes. Ice Cream. Dog meat.

Arriving in Hanoi was a mysterious introduction to the country my severe lack of general knowledge had narrowed down to conical hats and rice noodles. The "foggy" weather only added more to the ambiance. Not knowing how things would be like once I crossed the glass doors onto foreign soil, I did what any self respecting paranoid woman would do in my situation: Relish my last moments in a proper toilet, with real live sized doors, and stock up on free tissue paper. Walking out of the airport friendly faces would chorus rehearsed lines of "Taxi?" They call once and they called twice before letting u off with the same friendly face. No pressure. Exiting the airport and along the main highway, were more solemn looking faces, the first of many smartly uniformed government workers. Man they looked so...clean..and important..and oh don't touch that it might be important to the government.

One of my favourite memories of Vietnam would be the scenes of the passing countryside, seen from aboard a rickety public bus, cramped minivan, motorcycle, "air-conditioned bus" etc. From Hanoi down to Ho Chi Minh, every time we travelled the scenes never failed to make me sit up, looks back, point, smile, crinkle in wonder or laugh a little. There was always something to see and the first things I saw were the tiny tables and chairs of Hanoi! The road from the airport to the Old Quarter is lined with little shop houses. Colourful narrow units are sandwiched against each other, very much like the buildings I used to build with Lego! Another peculiar sight were the young women who boarded the bus donning personalised fabric face masks. Suddenly the "foggy" weather wasn't so mysterious anymore, it was dust =p But hey, a little (hmm..maybe more than a little) dust isn't going to spoil the cool weather they had. It was perfect!

The Old Quarter is an amazing maze of shops, inns, nooks and crannies. Each of the criss crossing street specializes in something eg: hardware street, TOYS street (HEHE), silversmith street, even a tomb stone making street! And nestled amongst the web is a school, a market a theater, and a romantic lake! In Hanoi, the lake is THE (pronounced thee) place to play chess, read, have lunch, walk your dog/child/boyfriend, eat ice cream and hold hands. The serene lake is lined with ancient bald trees whose wrinkly branches go to extreme lengths to stretch out and delicately ripple the water a little. The spherical white lanterns adorning the sleepy trees and the silhouette of the bridge and floating pagoda in the middle of the lake completes the look. Did I mention the ice cream? The ice cream is good! And I still can't tell what flavour it is.

Turn your back on the lake and you are immediately brought back to the traffic of Hanoi abuzz with vespas, motorcycles, bicycles and cyclos. By a cross junction along the blacksmith's street is a little shop serving draft beer from a rubber host and keg. Sit down awhile on the knee high chairs under the huge tree and watch the motorists magically untangle themselves from a cross junction without rules or traffic lights. This was how I enjoyed my first bia/beer Hanoi, and it has become one of my favourites! Honking is not deemed rude, rather a norm/courtesy. Elderly people can cross busy roads as these without flinching. The secret? To always walk at a steady pace, the other motorists with take que and maneuver their way AROUND you.

Food highlights are aplenty! Baguettes stuffed with pork and liver pate, cow's heart in tomato soup (really much nicer than it sounds), ice cream (again), sticky pork with sticky rice, pig brains (more tolerable than it sounds), eel soup, bia/beer hanoi (again again because it is so cheap = price of chinese tea in malaysia), fried fish in noodle soup, some special yummy sweet sour and spicy salad with peanuts i no can remember the rest, and last but not least dog meat. Yes, there is a whole stretch of shops serving dog meat and only dog meat. Cooked versions are fine, but cold slices are a little too advanced for me.

As the capital city, Hanoi does not lack in museums and official buildings. Who knew a mausoleum could take my breath away? It was beautifully grand! Guards dressed in snowy white marched to and fro which such pride in their stride. And flowers were always fresh to bear witness to the love the people had for the one honoured by this monument. A war museum, a gothic church, a citadel, an art exhibition turned badminton court.


" With a tattled map, a flower from the market, and the perfect ice cream cone, I would no sooner love to get lost again in the dizzy vespa streets of Hanoi with you."

Indochina shoes

I is back!

Lucky

I am no poet, no writer or songs

But I am a lucky girl; that I knew all along!

Fly Away

"When will you be home?" she asks. As we watch the planes take off. We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead. She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled. As a child, she was my world. And now to let me go, I know she bleeds. And yet she says to me. You can fly so high. Keep your gaze upon the sky. I'll be prayin every step along the way. Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart. I love you too much to make you stay. Baby, fly away. Autumn leaves fell into spring time and silver painted hair. Daddy called one evening saying "We need you. Please come back". When I saw her lying in her bed. Fragile as a child. Pale just like an angel taking flight. I held her as I cried. You can fly so high. Keep your gaze upon the sky. I'll be prayin every step along the way. Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart. I love you too much to make you stay. Baby fly away. I love you too much to make you stay. Baby fly away.

Spinning around in dizzy loops

Discovering a hidden fountain,

I'd never been this close to little wonders

Waiting patiently on the last rays of day,

I'd never noticed how the world is painted over

Idling down the glassy river,

I'd never imagined so many shades of green.

Spinning around in dizzy loops,

I love you more and more for you are my constant.

We cherish our little wonders, paint our sunsets, and dream in shades the world no longer cares to see.

Chronic ITP

Today I sat for supposedly the last exam I should ever take as an undergraduate.

5 years of learning and many more to come *phew*

Will they allow me to pass?

Though I feel there is so much more for me to know/be/do.

I guess it will always be a balance of self scrutiny and giving yourself credit for achievements made?

I want to graduate. But I also want to be blardddy good when I do so =p

Darn it...promised myself to loose weight (exercise of course, i don't plan on reducing food intake man) if i pass. That was premature of me...WHAT ABOUT HOLIDAY BINGING!!!!

Would not trade this for anything

Somethings shouldn't be done before a portfolio due date; like watching a movie.

Then again some things need to be done before a portfolio due date; like watching "Forrest Gump".

Merry Christmas

" I see it as a strengthened heart, not a weakened one"